On Families

I gotta take more long boat rides!  Now I see why cruises are so popular. There's something very relaxing about not having to do anything.  It might get boring in a couple of days, we've only be underway for about 21 hours now, but for the time being it's nice.

Four days of a stomach virus and both the camera and the journal are feeling neglected.  So a quick catchup on events: San Martín to Bariloche by bus -- Amy's tendonitis was still acting up.  Seven Lakes road is very nice although I didn't find the lakes to be the high point of the road; the valleys and cliffs were much more interesting.  Bariloche is much like San Martín, but less expensive.  We left a day earlier than scheduled to give us an extra day on the road.

Good thing due to the aforementioned stomach virus.

The lakes route over to Chile is not to be missed and not to be done from west to east -- the steep uphill going from Chile to Argentina would kill you.  Going east to west, however, I had to stop a couple times because I could smell my brakes burning.  Great views of Tronadore!  I wish I were feeling strong enough to take more photos.  The bug hit again between Pertrohue and Puerto Varas and I ended up on a bus for the 50km between those two towns.

The border crossing is done in a series of ferries and buses.  We rode from Bariloche to Llao Llao, leaving enough extra time in our schedule to, as Amy put it, "get a flat tire, repair it and still make the ferry."  The ferry takes us across Lago Nahuel Huapi.  One finger of the lake juts west towards the border and we disembarked at Puerto Blest and ride a steep mile to the border crossing.  The road has the interesting distinction of being accessible only by boat.  It starts at a ferry terminal and ends at a ferry terminal and everyone traveling this road is doing so by ferry and bus.

Except us!  We have the road to ourselves except twice a day when the buses pass.  Too bad I was too sick to enjoy the freedom.  At least the tábanos aren't bugging me.

Puerto Montt seems like the perfect town to finish up in before heading back to Santiago at the end of this trip.  Small enough to feel authentic, but big enough to have the services you'll need.  Perhaps a good place for last minute souvenir hunting, if I box things and ship them home as I'd like to stop at the Termas de Panqui as well.

I called Joanna from Puerto Montt and I think things are on better grounds.  It's going to a difficult re-entry, though.  She's been working on being a Mom -- a part of her life that she says she neglected and, to some extent, hid from me while we were dating.  Without me around, there's nothign to keep her from being a proper Mom, so she's setting up shop in her new house and she's afraid that she'll leave me out. 

Joanna said that she can't understand why anyone would want a family if they went into it "eyes open" (my phrase, not hers).  According to her, most people enter the family thing with glorious expectations, which are never met, and find hard work and sacrifice instead.  Eventually they find other positives aspects to family life, but somehow these secrets aren't visible to those of us outside the family space: I can never love Eva the way she does; I can never have the same connection to her that she does; Eva will never mean as much to me as she does to Joanna.

Perhaps.

Joanna doesn't understand that Eva can still mean a great deal to me and that I'm far more interested in being a friend to her than a father.  Father-figure, perhaps, but not father (or step-father) in the traditional sense of the word.  Jo also uses any professed non-interest in having kids as a reason that the three of us would never work out.  I don't think that she understands that I realize it's a package deal with her.  At first, as I change my life to fit a child in it, these restrictions life may see like sacrifices.  But that is outweighed by what I get from Joanna.  I haven't felt like this about someone before.  Thinking about living with her fills me with fear but I'm thinking about her constantly.

I make no professions about knowing what my relationship with Eva will be like.  We'll find out, I suppose.  If I have the chance.  Anyhow, I tried to make that clear to her yesterday.  I hope I got the point across.  I should be better about caller her, too.

Between Bariloche and Puerto Montt, I had prepared myself to cut my trip short if she was losing her love for me or if this time part was going to kill our relationship.  She's been very strong.  She said it had gotten to the point of "really sucking that you're gone" about five weeks in.  Only ten weeks to go.  I don't know if the curve is linear or not.

Note for the future: travel with your lover.

Anyhow, the plans to return immediately, created during some of the more feverish spells over the last few days, were for naught.  At least for now.